Harry Potter meets the insane writers
by WatcherofDarkness
Summary: Me, Anime no Megami, and her Yami are sent to HP's world on a task that could take their lives---- OR the sanity of the witches and wizards they they have to work with."
1. A whole lot of pain meets my head

Neither me nor Megami owns Harry Potter if we did we wouldn't have killed Sirius or least say he'd come back it's just to much to put on Harry's shoulders  
  
I'm falling down a tunnel filled with purple-blue lights that are tinted green yelling my lungs out, "DAMN YOU INU BAKA I DID NOT WANT TO GO YET YOU DUMB @$$!!!!!" only to be dumped out six feet in the air and falling on a hard side walk and hit in the head by my pack back.  
  
"Ouch that hurt." I say as I pick my self off from the ground and try to look around but am stopped as I hear a sound as if water had rushed out of a drain come from above me, I look up and see a hole appear above me. "What the heck is that thing?" I asked the thing only to have it answer me by having it drop a hard wooden box that falls right on my head.  
  
"Damn it!!!!" I yell as I grasp my head where the box collided. I slowly walk over to it and see it has my name engraved right into it. So I pick it up slowly and open it and gaze at a small green jewel with a note attached to it. I read the note quickly getting more and more pissed off as I read with it saying  
  
"Hello Chaos it's me the man from Fan Fiction Zone. I'm sorry to say that you're not out of the zone yet, but we decided to be nice and give you two things. Firstly you get this jewel, it's the Shikon no Copy Tama with the power to amplify your author powers and let's you use the world your in's power and tells you what world your in. Secondly we're going to let you summon something to help you and all you have to do is hold the SNCT and cast a spell to get it"  
  
"How dare he think he can keep me here or that he can control my magic!?" I yell angrily but quickly become deflated as I realize that I have no choice but to go along with it.  
  
I pick up the Shikon no Copy Tama with my left hand it as it quickly flared within and ended quickly as it had started as I quickly recite a summoning spell for a force I knew from somewhere before. "Oh come to me now oh force of power come now and quickly to my aid."  
  
I look around waiting for the summoned thing to come. I hear a sound like a paper tearing coming from above, quickly I look up before two girls fall on top of me squishing me to the ground.  
  
"Yami Me what did you do!?" snapped a brown eyed 14-year-old looking girl with shoulder length black hair that shined a purplish red.  
  
"I did nothing Hikari. Did you do something with the computer of yours?" said a girl the looking exactly expect for having silver hair with blood red highlights and red with gold tinted eyes.  
  
"Well here's another question for you two. Can you both get off of me!?" I yelled at the two who we're sitting right on top of me.  
  
The two jump off of me as I brush myself as the crimson eyed one pulls out what seemed to be a golden bladed javelin covered in Egyptian hieroglyphs and pointed at me  
  
"Okay you who are you and where are we?" The one with weapon asked as she smiled sweetly telling me I had better answer or die  
  
I had not really noticed her as I grumbled as I brushed myself off. "I'm called Chaos but I've got other names and I guess I summoned you here but I don't know where here is in time or space."  
  
The one with the weapon growled slightly and then swung near my head as she almost yelled "Well if you summoned us here then you can send us"  
  
I was about to answer when another hole opened over my head and dropped a small yet heavy gold ball right on to my head causing me to fall on the ground leaving the ball floating in the air whilst I meekly say "What is with hitting me in the head today?"  
  
The ball glowed slightly before blowing up in a cloud of smoke and revealed replica of the guy from the Fan Fiction Zone that started clapping and sang "You can't go. You got to stay. Till the story's though. Sorry Megami got to go torture your bishes while your gone" And with that it disappeared  
  
The blacked haired one just stared where the doll was before clapping her hands to her cheeks and yelled "But what about Yami-Chan?!"  
  
I having grown tired of getting up and cleaning myself of dirt so I called on the wind elemental Jin to pick me up and clean me off with a whirlwind. I looked at the two closely and even more so the weapon that the one had. "Wait is that the Millennium Glaive?"  
  
The one holding the weapon looked at me strangely before answering with a drop of caution in her voice "Yeah and so what?"  
  
"Then you two must be Megami and Yami Me?" I said with a great dash of hope in my voice. And when the two nodded I fell to my knees and started to praise the gods and the elements. "Thank the gods and elements it's me WatcherofDarkness I just call myself Chaos at times. I've been trapped in this freaky version of Inuyasha for I don't know how long in our world."  
  
The one with the black with a brownish red shine hair(aka Megami) got excited since I was on of her friends "WODwhatdoyoumeantrappedinInuyasha?"  
  
I being able to speak hyper fan girl told her the story of how I was in the world of Inuyasha how I got there and how I got here and met them. "And that's how I met you two here"  
  
Yami Me looked at the SNCT in her hand "So we're in some world where as writers you two have god like powers and this thing can tell us what world of the fanfic universe we're in?"  
  
"Yeah except because I've only got one fanfic with half a chapter I've got almost no power and I'm guess that's why I got this thing in the first place and I don't know to make it tell us where we are." I take the SNCT from Yami Me and as I hold it out it flares again and it quickly projects a few golden letters into the air, the letters being: HP&OoTP Ch.1  
  
"Wait a minute that stands for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix chapter 1. So that's where we must be."  
  
Something dawns on Megami "Now wait just one minnizle! in chapter 1 that's when..." Megami was interrupted as a darkness deeper than that of the night engulfed us all and we felt a slight chill that was not borne on the wind  
  
And together Megami and I said "Harry and Dudley were attacked by the Demontors!!" 


	2. Confrontation

Chaos looked at the other two with him pondering what to do since it was obvious that the demontors were attacking Harry and his pig of a cousin. "So you two think we should help him? I mean maybe it's what we're supposed to do here"   
  
Yami Me just looked at me and then at her other half. "Why not I might just have a little fun with these things. From what my Hikari says they're very evil. (To self) I wonder if they make good slaves for world conquest?"   
  
"It's fine by me as long as they don't try to kiss us" Said Megami shaking slightly from either disgust from the thought or fear of what would happen if they did, really I couldn't tell.   
  
"Okay then but we don't know where they are how we going to find them?" I asked the two.   
  
"Well you're the sorcerer here why don't you cast a spell to find them?" Asked Yami Me in a mocking tone of voice   
  
"You know as long as your not in your other form I'm not afraid of you." I said to Yami me before spreading out my arms to the sky and called on the powers the shades and wisps, the elementals of darkness and light. "Hear me oh spirit of the darkness find the evil that are the demontors of this world! The vile creatures that devour souls and steals them from your kin! Oh mistress of light hear me with your brother now aid us in our search for the evil of the demontors that are after the one who shall combat the lord of darkness!"   
  
After a few moments Yami Me scuffed at me "What kind of a pathetic spell was tha" But she was silenced by the fact that a road of darkness now shot out from a near by shadow with a line of light traveling though the middle   
  
I smiled as I began to run after it. "This kind, now hurry before the spell cancels on us!" After that remark the two of them ran after following the trail of light and darkness   
  
After about a minute of following the trail we came to an alley we were sure was the one from the book, because we could feel the coldness pulsating from it.   
  
"Okay we have to fight the demontors and help Harry." I said to the two and was about to go into the alley but was stopped by Megami's voice   
  
"Wait we do we even have to help him I mean it was only two demontors in the story and he handled them just fine?"   
  
"Because I find that these types of worlds adjust themselves to fit us in and that might include Ah hell we're surrounded." I said my voice falling into dismay   
  
"What do you mean we're surrounded?" A confused Yami Me asked me   
  
I held my hand in the air pointed like an arrow and pulled the other back as if to release the projectile "I mean this. Darkness that was concealed to our eyes by the light of this arrow I command you and your kin to be see by the eyes of these three beings before you!" And with that I let the arrow formed from light that had been created in my hands to fly into the air and explode with a bright light that only we three could see.   
  
And then we saw what I had felt. At least a hundred demontors surrounded us and we're about ten feet away from us but most of them were pouring into the alleyway where I saw a sliver like light, from which I knew Harry was okay, but need to get away from the demontors.   
  
"That's what's surrounding us Yami Me." I said a little angrily hoping she was happy with these many people to hurt   
  
"Wait why are there so many there were only two before?" Asked a Megami who wanted to know why we might be in trouble   
  
"Like I said the world is fitting us in. We're strong so it's making a problem that's equally strong." I looked at the two and remembered something I noticed repeatedly from Yu-Gi-Oh "Yami Me go inside the glaive as Megami holds it and you come out again."   
  
"Why should I waste time by doing something stupid like that!?" Asked Yami Me as the demontors drew closer to us "Just do it I have a theory to test out!" I yelled at her while I clutched the Shikon no Copy Tama and prayed this worked.   
  
"Fine!" Was all she said before doing as I requested by handing the glaive to Megami and going within it and then popping out of it holding another glaive."What hell! Where did this come from!?"   
  
"Simple. In YGO all the Yamis that appear next to their Hikaris and have their items. So it would happen here even more so if I used some author powers on you with the SNCT. Right now for this little spell. Light hear bless these weapons and create for me a weapon that that will snap and crack so that the souls consumed may meet thane distant cousin to meet their fates!" And with that said that a whip of white light appeared in came into my hand and the millennium items glowed white.   
  
"What was that for?" Questioned Megami as she looked at her glaive glowing in her hands   
  
"To save any souls in the demontors. I can't stand the thought that their souls will never reach the realm of Death so I cast a spell to send any devoured souls straight there." I said as I turned to half of the group of demontors and the girls at the other   
  
"Fine let's shut up and kill these things all ready!" Yelled an aggravated Yami Me right before we began our attack ________________________________________________________________________   
  
WOD: Okay that was the second chappie please review   
  
Yami Me: What we don't attack them!?   
  
Megami: Guess not we'll just have to wait   
  
WOD: Yep we have to wait for now till we attack. Oh yes I almost forgot I only own myself and Yami Me and Megami own themselves. And if I owned Hp then Sirus never would have meet his end   
  
Megami: Ahh Poor Sirus why?! !_! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA   
  
Yami Me: You had to start it didn't you?   
  
WOD: Sorry 


	3. The Battle! Yami Me: It's about time!

Okay everybody here's the next chapter hope you enjoy! Oh and (are descriptions or author notes) and *are actions * ___________________________________________________________________________ ___________________  
  
Opening narrator in Chaos's voice: [When we last left our three writers, okay two writers and a yami they were about to battle the horde of dementors that came to fight them and Harry Potter, who is stuck in the alley to the left of our writers, fending off the dementors that where pouring into the alley now let us rejoin out writers before their battle. But will Chaos's whip of light and the millennium glaives have enough power to do read to find out]   
  
Yami Me: "Why were you just doing that weird narration a minute ago?"   
  
Chaos: (Looks at her strangely) "Don't know what you're talking about because that wasn't me"   
  
Megami: "We're about to fight dark beings of evil and the two of you are just talking about us all hearing a voice like Chaos's doing a narration? And I thought I was the insane one here?"   
  
Chaos and Yami Me: *Look at the huge horde of dementors that are about to attack* "Oh riitttttee those things. Seems we forgot about them"   
  
Megami: *semi face fault*   
  
Chaos: "How can you semi face fault----- isn't that impossible?"   
  
Megami: *Is stand up right again* "I don't know but can we please fight these things before they try to suck out our souls?!"   
  
Chaos: *Nods* "Okay sounds good to me" *starts bringing down the whip cutting the dementors in half causing their corpses to disappear*   
  
Yami Me: "Yeah I could go with a little death and destruction^_^" *starts slicing the dementors with the glaive*   
  
Chaos: "Yami Me I'm gonna get more then you" *kills more dementors with each pass of the whip*   
  
Yami Me: "Oh no you're not" *starts slicing more at the dementors*   
  
Megami: -_- "I'm supposed to be the insane one not them" *starts killing dementors finally*   
  
Narrator's voice that sounds like Chaos [time skip ten minutes our writers have fought brilliantly and freed many a soul from the evil of the dementors and released them to the realm of the dead, but the dementors kept coming as more and more gathered to our writers. No matter what they do they kept fighting but now they are weakening. Yes, even the evil Yami Me is losing strength against this horde , of course none of them realize that the reason they're getting this weak is the draining effect the dementors have on people]   
  
Yami Me: *pant* "there's that" *pant* "voice again" *pant* "and how" *pant* "does it" * pant * "know about" * pant *"us getting" * "pant" *"weak?"   
  
Megami: *is leaning on the glaive to stay up* "I don't know but he's right we can't keep fighting like this"   
  
Chaos: *the whip he has been holding begin to fade out as he leans over try not to fall to the ground* "Your right we can't." *Drops the whip which returns to being non existent and extends hands above head* "Hear me o spirit of the light, gentle Wisp grant us now your ancient might in the form of saving light! Protecting light!" *A semi-sphere of light encase the three and holds back the dementors but the strain of the shield so much for Chaos who falls to his knees*   
  
Yami Me: "Damn it we have got to find a way to destroy these things and keep them away"   
  
Megami: *Has taken a bag of popcorn from my backpack and is eating it as a last meal* "Why don't you just use some shadow magic on these creeps and get rid of them?"   
  
Yami Me: *Is staring at Megami* O_O "Why didn't I think of that?" *tries to banish dementors to the shadow realm but they are replaced by more dementors* "Oh hell any one got any Duel Monster cards that can help?"   
  
Chaos: *is still on knees now gasping for breath* "Backpack" *gasp* "right pocket" *gasp* "there are" *gasp* "two cards" *gasp* "Raigeki and prohibition "  
  
Megami: *the closest one to the backpack and pulls out the two cards and reads what they do* "Raigeki destroys all of your opponents monsters and Prohibition lets you chose one card and makes it so that card can not be used as long as this card in on the field. "   
  
Yami Me: *takes cards and reads them over making sure that Megami wasn't wrong* "Wow these will work just fine"   
  
Chaos: *Can't keep the shield up and it begins to fade* "THEN USE THEM!!!!!!"  
  
Yami Me: "Okay. Okay" *Uses the power of the shadow realm to bring the cards' powers to life*   
  
Raigeki: (looks like a lighting bolt) *strikes the dementors destroying all of them even the ones in the alley*  
  
Prohibition: (is a sign with a bunch of people saying things about it), Things being said: I'd have to change the age rating if I told you. *blocks more dementors form coming*  
  
Harry Potter: (finally the other member of the title appears it's just taken about forever right?) *Comes out dragging his cousin over his shoulder and his wand in his hand* "I saw you do that? How'd you do it all without wands or anything and what the heck were those card things? "  
  
Ms Figg: (You know the old lady) *comes running* "Stupid Mungus how dare he not stay till his shift was over! And don't you be putting that wand away boy we might have to fight some more of those vile things" *finally notices Megami, Yami Me, and me* "Oh great now we have to deal with these muggles"  
  
Chaos: *stands up and looks really pissed* "I am not A MUGGLE I AM A SORCERER GET IT YOU OLD FOOL!!!!!!"  
  
Yami Me: "And we're the ones that took care of most of the dementors so back or feel pain"  
  
Chaos: "You better look out she's pissed and..." *falls to the ground all of a sudden unconscious*  
  
(Dream sequence entrance waves)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chaos: (Thought) ~Megami, Yami Me, and I are walking down the yellow brick road to the emerald city to find a way back to our world~   
  
Megami: "Or at least to Yu-Gi-Oh's world. I miss Yami-Chan" !_!   
  
Chaos: "Hey that was supposed to be inner monologue how did you hear that?"   
  
Megami: *looks puzzled* "I read the sentence. I guess you forgot the important rule about the laws of physics and reality here"   
  
Chaos: "You mean the fact there isn't any?"   
  
Megami: "Yup" ^_^   
  
Yami Me: "WHEN THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO GET THERE WE'VE BEEN WALKING ON THIS @$#& ROAD FOR THREE DAYS!!!!"   
  
Chaos: "I don't know maybe we could have asked the munchkins before we left but what happened.... YOU BLEW THEM AND THEIR VILLAGE UP!!!!!"   
  
Yami Me: "I know it was fun and... where's my Hikari? "   
  
Megami: *was ahead of us but now is coming back dressed like the good witch* "Hey Guys! Guess what?"   
  
Chaos: "I've finally lost my mind and become a real insane author?"   
  
Yami Me: "You found more victims for me?"   
  
Megami: -_- "No I've gained the magic power to send us to Yu-Gi-Oh"   
  
Chaos: "Can't we go home?"   
  
Megami: "No. Now click your heels and say there's no place like Yu-Gi-Oh "  
  
Yami Me and Chaos: Look at each other then at Megami like she' crazy (which she is since she's an insane authoress) and begin to try clicking our heels and saying "There's no place like Yu-Gi-Oh"   
  
Suddenly about a hundred Teas appear out of nowhere and start saying those evil friendship speeches of hers.   
  
Chaos, Megami, Yami Me: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~   
  
Chaos: *wakes up screaming in the Dursley's living room laying on their couch* "AHH THE EVIL OF TEA!!!!!!"  
  
Meagmi: *Jumps up* "WHERE!?"  
  
Yami Me: "Calm down you two; it was a bad dream. Chaos you should get up now."   
  
Chaos: "Why should I?"  
  
Megami: "Because Dumbledore wants to meet us"  
  
WOD: Okay that was the next chapter hope everyone liked it  
  
Megami: why'd you pass out?  
  
Chaos: I'll explain that later. Where's Yami Me?  
  
Megami: she went out to buy some dementors--- she liked the way they worked  
  
Chaos: oh boy 


	4. Somebesides me gets the hurt put on them

Hello my dear readers welcome to the next chapter in Harry Potter meets the insane writers   
  
*Crickets chirp*  
  
O_O Where's are readers!?!?  
  
Yami Me: there aren't any  
  
-_-' Um okay anyways on with the chappie  
  
Yami Me: baka  
  
That's it! *Dust cloud battle begins*  
  
The cursed narrator with my voice: Last we joined our authors they had defeated the hordes of Demontors but the spells used had a negative effect on their user and as he awoke he learned that Dumblodore wanted to meet them all  
  
I felt my cheeks redden as my rage erupted at the bodiless voice "How dare you talk like you know everything and stop talking in MY VOICE!!!" causing Harry and the Dursleys to come in to see what was the matter  
  
The seconds ticked by as I waited for an answer I wasn't really expecting, but I still got one but not in my voice but in Yami Yugi's. "Is this better?"  
  
I was about to respond when I was interrupted by a delighted and startling squeal from Megami.  
  
"-----IT'S YAMI-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ^______^ And with that, she bolted up.  
  
^_^, and we watched as she ran towards the stairs.  
  
"What the bloody hell is that girl doing?!" asked Vernon Dursley as Megami ran up the stairs.  
  
His question was answered as Megami jumped over the railing yelling, "YAMI!!!!" as she headed towards the ceiling and "OWWW!!!", as she collided with the ceiling and then the floor.  
  
Both Yami Me and I yelled at her saying, "Megami---, Hikari, you baka!!! Why'd you do that?!" As we ran to her side but were beaten by the very last person we thought would--------- Dudley!!  
  
O___o  
  
"I'll make sure she's okay", he said with a hentai gleam in his eyes.  
  
I doubted his interests from the moment he got there, but even more so when I saw the gleam in his eyes--- If they were words they would have said 'While she's like this I'll cope a feel'. Which unknown to us, he was!!! I did the first thing that came to mind and yelled: "MEGAMI!!!! Look out--- Pegasus is trying to kiss you Everyone in the room stared at me until we heard a loud "EWWWWW!!" Erupt from Megami as she punched Dudley, sending him flying.   
  
Megami has her psycho glare.... uh-oh. "YOU LITTLE HENTAI B******!!!! DIE!!!!!" With that, she did a dropkick on Dudley's fat butt, which sent him across the room. "You are SO going DOWN!" Then she proceeded to lift the sofa and beat the crap outta him....  
  
Harry and Petunia just stared horrorstruck as Megami attacked Dudley with the sofa, but Vernon charged at her determined to save his son, who was supposed to be oh-so-strong. I saw Yami Me tense as she summoned the Glaive; I don't know why, but I hadn't noticed it was gone until now and I knew if I was going to save Vernon--- which I don't know why I wanted to--- I had to act fast. I saw my opportunity right in front of me in the form of my backpack, which I quickly picked up and threw at Vernon yelling, "Weight spell off!!!"   
  
Vernon sneered as he said, "You think that will stop me?" Then he tried to bat it away with his arm but was surprised by the snapping sound and pain as his fore arm broke and some of his ribs when the pack hit his chest.  
  
Harry stared wide-eyed at us as his Aunt feel to her knees sobbing, "They're dead! Murdered by FREAKS!"  
  
I sighed and rolled my eyes as I walked over to my backpack and whispered "Weight spell on" and picked it up and went over to Yami Me who was watching her Hikari's work  
  
"I think I been too much of an influence on her, "Yami Me said with a tired sigh---- but a gleam of horrible amusement shone in her eyes. "Hikari that's enough--- its Dudley, not the pansy Pegasus...."  
  
Megami ceased. "Oh."  
  
I lifted my left hand to my mouth trying to stop me from laughing out loud as my right went into my pocket and slipped on a familiar feeling bracelet and said simply "Wisp, heal the idiots please" before falling to the ground so much I was paralyzed by it.  
  
The wounded Dursley men were warped in a white light that quickly dissipated leaving them still passed out but no longer carrying anything worse then several very large bruises and some soreness when they woke up.  
  
Megami looked around slightly at the house, the room, the almost destroyed couch she used, and finally the Dursleys and Harry. "Umm you think we should go before someone wakes up?"  
  
I looked at the faces of the Dursley family and noticed that the idiots were still asleep and would be knocked out for a while still and that Petunia had gone into some kind of crying shock and hadn't noticed that here husband and son were alive. Then I looked at Harry he was still staring at us with a queer look inside his wide-eyes, what was he thinking in that brain of his? ---That we're insane or just... okay insane is the only word so sue me "yeah leaving would be a good idea. Byes Harry! "  
  
And with that we simply ran outside the door as fast as we could and down the street  
  
"Well this seems rather pointless," said an annoyed Yami Me, who I can't believe I'm saying this--- looked a little like she was pouting.  
  
O_O "Yami Me what's wrong?" I said getting over the shock  
  
-_- "It's just I'm the one that's supposed to be hurting people not you two" She said sadly. "If I don't hurt people, what's my whole purpose here and why are we here in the first place and why did you pass out before!?" Yami Me said as she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and shook me so much I thought my head was going to snap off.  
  
I looked at her when the shaking stopped enough and answered, "It's because I didn't have my bracelet on if I don't wear it or my cloak there are drawback to using high level spells and I myself want to know why we're here", quickly because it looked like Yami Me was going to become the one thing I really fear about her.... The DEMONESS!!!!!!  
  
Then a loud crack was heard and was followed by the voice of an old man "That's something I'd like to know as well" Said the old man with long silver hair a beard just as long and sliver who was wearing robes and half moon glasses.  
  
"Hikari---- that man looks familiar... is that Gandalf?" asked Yami Me as she shifted into a defensive position ready to summon the Glaive if needed.  
  
Megami studied the man from head to toe with a few glances and said "Baka! That's Lord of the Rings! That my Yami is one Albus Dumbledore." 


	5. Mission PROBABLE

Harry Potter Meets the Insane Writers  
  
Megami: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Watcher of Darkness: --;;; Did she get into the coffee?

Megami is running around madly holding her laptop. In the meanwhile she is temporarily writing updates for this story.

Yami Me: .... Hell yea

Megami: I shall write this chapter!!! ::insert psychotic laughter here:: READ FOOLISH MORTALS! READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Watcher of Darkness: Best part is you'll be learning some cool Japanese terms from this!

P.S. Chapters will be in 3rd person narrative form; it's a bit easier when Watcher of Darkness and I are taking turns writing this.  
  
Ch. 5 Mission PROBABLE:

Potter Reconnaissance Oath By Authors, Being Liable Experts

Here in the middle of Little Whinging, three teenagers stood in shock in the presence of one of the most powerful wizards in the history of magic.

In the meanwhile, the kindly, yet cautious wizard was briefly scanning their minds to find any connection to Voldemort and the Death eaters. He found no evil intentions (for the most part) ...only confusion. Dumbledore decided to break the awkward silence. "Well, well... I did not expect three strangers to find their way into Harry's home. May I assume all of you are not Muggles?"

Watcher of Darkness scratched his head in thought. "Well, not really, but I use a different branch of magic than wizards of this world. I'm Watcher of Darkness or Konton, by the way."

Megami shifted her feet nervously. "My penname's Anime no Megami... Um, I'm not sure really... my Yami has Shadow Powers and I'm just.... not normal, as an ff.net Authoress... but I don't think I've displayed any REAL magical abilities..."

The old wizard contemplated this new turn of events. "I see.... in any case, I believe you are the individuals that Harry described as the "Dementor Defeaters" in his letter, am I right?"

Yami Me scoffed. "Of course; do you take us for helpless children? I'm the great Yami Me---" Megami proceeded to elbow her in the side to cease the arrogance. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Of course not, I must apologize; I briefly used Legilimency on you----" Yami Me made an angered gesture at the thought of being mind-read... "—But I had to be sure you weren't in league with the dark forces. Your abilities might have a purpose in this reality. But come, let us talk of these matters else where."

Megami squealed in excitement. "Oh! Are we going to the O--- uh, You-Know-Where!?" Dumbledore only smiled in response. "We are!!!! COOL!!! ..Or should I say 'Wicked' now that we're in Britain?" Yami Me and Watcher of Darkness rolled their eyes. "Come on you guys, it's not everyday you get to LIVE the Harry Potter series."

"Yes, about that, I believe you do owe an explanation on these... books, but later." Dumbledore pulled out a rather... random object: a stapler. "What's that for?" asked Yami Me. Realization dawned on Watcher of Darkness. "It's a Portkey! Is it taking us to... uh, your bird-watching clubhouse?" Megami giggled at his thought-up code name. The Headmaster smiled and nodded.

"Quickly, all of you touch the Portkey; it will take us to our destination in about... three... two..." They all quickly grabbed---the stapler. "...one."

Instantly, a jerking sensation occurred right below each of the teenager's navels. Watcher of Darkness accidentally squeezed the stapler in surprise.

"OWWW!!! Idiot, my finger was there!" All of them tried desperately to keep their grip on the stapler (except Megami, as she was stapled) and as quickly as it had come, it had passed. The ending result was an amused Headmaster standing over a very tangled pile of disgruntled minors. They had landed messily in the kitchen.

"Yami.... your foot is in my ear!"

"Megami! You're crushing my spleen!"

"Baka [1], your spleen is nowhere near there! Now get off my back!"

All the commotion attracted some residents of Headquarters, including the Weasleys and Sirius Black. Sirius proclaimed, "Albus! Who are these children that you've brought!? What if they jeopardize the Order!?"

Megami looked up and squealed. "AHHH!!! It's Sirius Black! AWESOME!!!" Sirius looked slightly disturbed but flashed one of his dazzling smiles nonetheless. Megami pretended to swoon. ("Dork." "Shut up.")

Dumbledore replied, "They are trustworthy enough. You know them better as the individuals who vanquished the dementors that attacked Harry last night. I have brought them in for questioning as well for their protection; they have nowhere else to go." Mr. Weasley offered Dumbledore a chair.

By then the Authors had disentangled themselves from their pile. They all straightened up their appearance. "So I take it the Order would like to hear the reason why we've been brought here?" asked Watcher of Darkness.

Albus Dumbledore waved them aside. "I believe the best time you should answer our questions would be later, when all of the Order members are here. It will save you the trouble of repeating your story to everyone. But that is only my opinion." His eyes twinkled.

We all shrugged. "Whatever," said Megami. "But do you guys want to know anything, off the top of your heads? I mean, before the Advance Guard comes back with Harry?"

Mr. Weasley became suspicious. "How do you know this?"

Watcher of Darkness cleared his throat. "We're from another reality, where this world is fiction and is written by an author named J.K. Rowling. A few years ago she started writing her Harry Potter Series, which is supposed to be a collection of 7 books, one for each of the years that Harry is at Hogwarts. These books have become famous in our world, so therefore we know about the plotline, or what's happening in this world. Apparently we've been transported into the world of the 5th book, 'The Order of the Phoenix'. We also have out own special abilities as authors. I'm a mage with a variety of magic abilities, Yami Me has an arsenal of weapons at her disposal, not to mention her dark powers; and Megami.... can kick ass I guess..."

Megami glared at his 'enthusiastic' description of her abilities. "You're just jealous that you're not a black belt," she muttered.

Dumbledore's eyes held a gentle mystery to them. "I would not worry, Megami. Each and every one of you holds power, and that includes you." Megami's pout lifted a little into a smile.

Hermione was astonished. "Are you really from another reality? That's amazing!" We smiled and nodded.

A dingy wizard raised the hand holding his beer bottle. "How in blazes did you kids kill a dementor?"

"I think we'd all like to know that, Mundungus."

"Sent them to the Shadow Realm," answered Yami Me. "But come to think of it... would that be a good thing or a bad thing, as these things feed off of negative energy?"

Watcher of Darkness promptly concluded, "Well for better or worse, they are out of this physical plane and are not a threat to humans on this realm."

"...Right. Whatever."

"What's with the accents?" questioned George.

"They're Yanks," answered Fred.

Megami raised an eyebrow, "Nani [2]? Yanks? What're those? You're the ones with the accents!"

Ron answered. "You mean you're not Americans? And what does 'nani' mean!?"

Hermione whacked him upside the head. "Honestly, Ron, how rude. And I believe that was Japanese, am I right?"

"Hai! Nihongo o hanashimashita! [3]" the three teenagers replied simultaneously. "Yea, we're Americans, but Yami Me and I know Japanese... We're trying to teach Watcher of Darkness a bit."

"Really? Wicked... "

Everyone was silent, as they were kind of awkward about meeting these new people. Watcher of Darkness sighed and decided to start the introductions. "I'm Watcher of Darkness, but call me Konton. This---" He pointed to the girl with brown eyes, long blackish-red hair, and Army Brat attire, "is Anime no Megami, but everyone just calls her Megami..." Megami flashed them the "rock-on" gesture. "And this is Yami Me; Megami's her reincarnation... long, very complicated story." Yami Me played with a strand of her long silver hair while flashing the Order a smirk.

Mrs. Weasley looked disapprovingly at Yami Me's hair. She noticed this however. "I like to experiment with hair dyes and my eyes are naturally red and gold, okay?"

Ginny gave her an appraising look. "If you and Megami had the same hair color, you couldn't tell them apart; but I think silver with red streaks looks nice on you."

Konton muttered, "She probably uses blood for the red streaks... don't you?" "Heh... wouldn't you like to know?" commented Yami Me while lightly tracing the edge of her Glaive. The Aurors backed away a bit after that. "Kidding..." Yami Me rolled her eyes at their gullibility.

Ginny giggled. "I'm Ginny, by the way. This is Hermione Granger. And these immature gits are my older brothers: Ron, and Fred and George, the twins. ("We are not immature gits!") That's my oldest brother, Bill. My other brother, Charlie is working somewhere else. This is my mom and dad!" The authors noticed that she did not include Percy into her list of brothers.

"Pleasure."

"What's up?"

Yami Me nodded in acknowledgment. "We know each of your names; we've read the books and watched the movies."

"I'd shake your hand but---" her hands were somewhat cut from Hedwig's pecking. "Wait, there are movies of Harry in your world?" asked Hermione interestedly.

Megami went into fangirl mode. "YEAH! They are so awesome! Everyone goes to see them when they come out! The newest movie was the 3rd book, 'Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban'; it's where we first see Remus Lupin and Sirius Black!"

Sirius spoke up. "So is that how you recognized me, Megami?"

She scratched her head. "Yeah, but also you're the hottest, ahem, I mean most attractive male here with extended black hair, which is the literal description of Sirius Black, so I concluded that you were the said character." Many looked at her in confusion. But Sirius, the twins, Hermione, and Dumbledore started laughing. "Heh... what's so funny?"

"You sounding intelligent..." retorted Yami Me as she continued to laugh, until she was pinched in the arm.

Konton managed to stop laughing. "What would Yami say if he heard you admiring guys in this world?"

"You know... I don't even think he really likes me; he only stays with me from fear of Yami Me and for convenience if the others threaten him. Honestly, I think I'm losing interest in him... " Yami Me scoffed at her self-pity. "Well I haven't exactly been updating any of my YGO fics lately, have I!? At least I didn't date a Tomb Robber who you find to be so pathetic."

"Shut up. Anyways, I believe we have an hour until Harry and the others arrive. What are we going to do?"

"Perhaps we should get started on figuring out what to do with you," suggested Dumbledore.

"What do you mean?" asked Konton.

"I believe your talents would best serve the Order if you attended Hogwarts. Let me give you an idea of your tasks. You are to be secretly watching out for Harry; make sure 'she' doesn't do anything---"

Konton interrupted. "Wait, you mean Dolores Umbridge, the toad hybrid?!"

"Yes, unfortunately she has been assigned to the DADA position. Secondly, if you cough 'come across' any information concerning the Ministry's plans, Voldemort's plans, or merely schemes between rivaling houses," he winked, "please report to the Order, other professors, or myself, whatever choice seems appropriate for the info. Now, how old are you?"

"I'm 15 and they're 14... I think."

Megami corrected him. "I just turned 15 in June and Yami Me turned.... 5015, literally. But she looks like she's 15. Why?"

His eyes twinkled in their mysterious way. "You are just old enough to be disguised as transfer 5th year students."

Sirius turned to the Headmaster. "Transfer students? From where?"

"Japan, quite possibly Americans from Okinawa, a military base in Japan. That would explain their appearance and their ability to speak Japanese."

"Quite brilliant, Headmaster," chorused the twins, imitating prim and properness. "See? We're not immature gits." Ginny sighed.

Megami raised her hands. "Problem: what are our aliases going to be? Americans may have strange names but no parent is crazy enough to REALLY name their children Anime no Megami, Yami Megami, and Watcher of Darkness."

"What does 'Megami' and 'Yami Megami' mean anyways?" asked Mr. Weasley.

"They mean 'Goddess' and 'Dark Goddess', respectively," answered Yami Me.

Sirius had a look like the answer was obvious. "Why don't you just go by Konton, Megami, and Yami Me?"

"---And our last names?" asked Konton dryly.

Megami thought for a moment. "We--- could be the Kagayaki's. It means 'glorious', and it fits with the whole goddess thing. Your last name can be Mahotsu, which means sorcerer. Well, we can't just explain to the school that I'm Yami Me's reincarnation, so why don't we pose as twins? We can pull it off easily. Besides, we are Gemini's," she said proudly.

"Megami Kagayaki. Yami Me Kagayaki," Yami Me experimenting the feel of the names.

"Sounds good."

Dumbledore clapped his hands together. "Well, if you are happy with your new aliases, I'll go inform the rest of the staff of the new 'transfer' students. I believe you should start shopping for your supplies tomorrow. You can withdraw money from this vault. Just give this signed note to the goblins at Gringotts and they'll understand." He winked and handed a paper to Konton. Then he was gone with a pop.

Megami pouted. "I wish I could Apparate and Disapparate. That'd be neat..."

Ginny was excited. "Wow! You three are going to Hogwarts! Do you have any ideas on what houses you'll be in?"

Konton scratched his chin in thought. "Gryffindor, I'm hoping. Right, Megami?" Megami grinned and nodded.

Yami Me shook her head. "If I can predict anything, I'll guess I'll be placed in Slytherin."

The Weasleys looked thunderstruck. "Why!?" asked Ron. "How could you side with THEM?"

"Well, I'm not exactly Miss Congeniality, here! Besides, it'll be a good thing! In fact, I'll make sure that the Sorting Hat places me in Slytherin." Yami Me retorted. [4]

"And how will being placed with the Slytherins be a good thing?" inquired Hermione. Even Konton and Megami looked at Yami Me expectantly.

"For one thing, if I'm working for the Order---"

Ron interrupted, "AHA! You're going to spy on the Order and pass it on to Malfoy and the Death Eaters!"

Yami Me crossed her arms in defiance. "ACTUALLY--- I was going to say you could count on me for inside info from the Slytherin House... that would include info Malfoy would have from his father, who works for Voldemort!" she snapped. There was a collective shudder at You-Know-Who's name.

Ron flushed. "Sorry. Can't be too careful, you know."

"Apology accepted," she said disdainfully. Sirius grinned. "That's a brilliant idea. Now I'll go check up later; I've got to go feed Buckbeak," he said while leaving.

Something clicked in Megami. "Wait... did Dumbledore say we're going shopping tomorrow!? YESSS!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!" Everyone else had on thought across their mind: Another shopaholic girl to deal with...

"Nah, he only said that 10 minutes ago," said Yami Me, her voice dripping in sarcasm.

"Why are you so cynical?" glared Megami.

Yami Me shrugged. "Comes naturally; and it makes good practice for being a Slytherin." She was interrupted when the door was opened. Konton glanced at the doorframe. "I'm guessing Harry's here."

Sure enough, Harry and his bodyguard team of Aurors stepped through the doorway.

"Who the hell are you!?" roared Moody.

Harry, however, recognized them instantly. "Hey! It's you guys! What're you doing here?"

Konton sighed. "Let's start from the beginning..."

AN--- [1] Baka- Idiot, stupid

[2] Nani- What?

[3] Hai! Nihongo o hanashimashita! – Yes! We spoke Japanese!

[4] Actually, you'll see her placement will come in very handy when Um- bitch takes over the school.

Megami: And TA-DA! A chapter that actually took less than a week to compose! ::witch cackle::

Yami Me: -- Stop eating my supply of Pixi Stix...

Konton: PLEEEEZE REVIEW! Ciao!


	6. Ch 6 Suspicions and Settling In

Harry Potter Meets the Insane Writers  
  
Watcher of Darkness: - -;;; My writing muses died, I swear.... I can't update on anything lately...  
  
Megami: ;;; Don't feel bad! I can't either! My parents told me my muses are on vacation!  
  
Yami Me: Sweatdrop The last time something of yours went on 'vacation' aka your fish, your parents really flushed them down the toilet!  
  
Megami: O.o;;;; Nuuuuuu You're lying! runs off looking for her fish, Fluffy and Killer  
  
Watcher of Darkness: Aren't those something you'd technically name dogs?  
  
Yami Me: ... I invoke the right to remain silent.  
  
Suddenly a team of snooty lawyers broke the door down with a Full- Body-Binded Peter Pettigrew. Megami came running back to kill whoever broke her door, purposely stepping all over the frozen, discarded Peter. How ironic that Megami actually is interested in becoming a lawyer.  
  
Snooty Lawyer #1: Anything you say can and will be against you in the court of law.  
  
Snooty Lawyer #4: And don't you need to say something else before you shut up?  
  
Watcher of Darkness: Of course, how could we forget.... rolls eyes  
  
BTW--- forgot to mention: WE DON'T OWN ANYTHING!!! J.K. Rowling owns EVERYTHING in Harry Potter and we own zilch. Except ourselves.  
  
Watcher of Darkness: And I own my own magical stuff! beams proudly  
  
Megami: And I own my Millennium Glaive ::cuddles it:: Ouch! has been cut by it Owie... sniffle  
  
Yami Me: And I own my own spiritual copy of that. ---And my own arsenal of weapons of destruction ::insert psychotic laugh here::  
  
Megami suddenly flipped onto the desk and impulsively struck a pose.  
  
Megami: And I own a pair of black combat boots, an overripe banana bunch, non-waterproof mascara, and a collection of autographs of opponents I've accidentally kicked the soccer ball at who have been permanently handicapped! . victory pose  
  
The special team of lawyers seemed very scared. In an instant they ran out the door screaming in unnaturally high-pitched shrieks.  
  
Megami: ...Does this mean I can have Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?  
  
Watcher of Darkness: I don't think so... sorry.  
  
====In case you want to know (or are more of a visual reader) Character Bios ====  
  
Watcher of Darkness: 5'3" average built guy with red hair and deep blue eyes. Tends to wear black or mage's garb, and carries his magical backpack. Has taken over role of leader of our little gang. Inclined to be sarcastic, make random comments, and join Megami in the acts of hyperness. A mysterious but trusty mage. Starting to question sanity though. Perhaps it's his Yami (that no one really knows about in this story yet) Aliases are Konton and Chaos (as you will see).  
  
Megami: 5'2" athletically built girl with somewhat long black/red hair and deep brown eyes. Tends to wear black, red, silver, and army camouflage print clothing. If need be, imagine a biker Army brat. Megami makes an entertaining (yet weird) loyal friend.  
  
However, she is liable to be hyper, random/spontaneous, moody, mischievous, and be a smart ass. Be very afraid.  
  
Yami Me: 5'2" identical to Megami except for the hair/eye coloring. Her hair is bright silver and has red streaks and her eyes are a matching blood red with some gold flecks. Always wears a combo of black, red, and silver. Apt to be extremely sarcastic and cynical, moody, vengeful, violent when provoked, and impatient but a reliable friend (if you are lucky enough to befriend her and make it out alive). Also known as the DEMONESS (think Satan reincarnate in a chronic PMS-ing girl ::twitch::); be more afraid of her than Megami.  
  
Yami translates into "darkness" so basically, Yami Me is the darker side of Megami, so to speak. And you'll see about Konton's Yami in later chapters...  
  
Ch. 6 Suspicions and Settling In  
  
"Okay, I was thrown from ANOTHER world when Megami and Yami Me landed on top of me. We didn't realize where we were until we felt the dark coldness of the dementors attacking Harry and Dudley---"  
  
Lupin interrupted his tale. "Wait, we should probably make this an official Order meeting, as we have to divulge some Order info to Harry. That means all other kids should go upstairs!"  
  
All the children had protests until Mrs. Weasley intervened. "He's right! ---Don't give me those looks! Fine! Ron and Hermione can stay as Harry will probably tell them everything later anyways!" Fred and George complained about being of age. "FINE! Fred and George can stay. Ginny! Go up to the bedroom until dinner!!!!"  
  
Ginny went out rampaging, causing mayhem behind her in protest. Suddenly a terrible shriek could be heard all over the house.  
  
"Ginny gets her temper from her mother," stated Mr. Weasley.  
  
"FILTH! MUDBLOODS! HALF-BREEDS! FREAKS OF NATURE! HOW DARE YOU BEFOUL MY HONORABLE HOUSE---"  
  
Lupin and Tonks immediately went to close the curtains of Mrs. Black, and eventually Sirius came rushing out to help.  
  
"...And I thought my mom was a tyrant. No offense, Padfoot," commented Megami.  
  
"None taken. Hiya Harry, been looking forward to seeing you again," he said while briefly hugging him. "So are you going to tell everyone how you got here or what?"  
  
The occupants of the kitchen listened thoughtfully to the newcomer's tale. Everyone found out how they're from another world and that they had been thrown into theirs for some 'fateful' reason. Of course, the background information of these teens totally threw them off; they had these so-called 'Author' and 'Authoress' Powers? What the heck was that supposed to mean? Everyone stopped listening to think about the answer.  
  
Konton noticed that no one was really paying attention anymore, just absentmindedly hearing the words. He nudged Megami, who was still trying to say things. She scowled.  
  
"...And so Harry and Draco eloped and formed their own coven at Fort Barbie, where they had a ton of kids and worshipped a wasted corn stalk until the end of their days." She waited for the response.  
  
It took a moment for everyone to register what she had said until they all fell out of their thoughts.  
  
"WHAT!?" Harry had fallen out of his seat when he had realized exactly what she had implied.  
  
Yami Me spoke up. "Well, you all weren't paying attention! God."  
  
"You weren't listening to me!" whined Megami. She pouted.  
  
"How do we know you're telling the truth, eh? What if you're spies for the Death Eaters?!" growled Mad-Eye Moody.  
  
Konton glared right back at him. "Dumbledore trusts us; you'd think that'd be a good enough reason," he countered frostily.  
  
Many people in the room nodded in agreement, including Tonks, Elphias Doge, Sturgis Podmore, Emmeline Vance, and Kingsley Shacklebolt.  
  
"If Albus trusts them then I do," answered Lupin quietly.  
  
Sirius vouched for them. "Yea, me too!"  
  
Harry looked them over. "They saved me and my cousin from the dementors," he commented. "Only to beat Dudley up afterwards," he added, "So they can't be all that bad." The Weasley kids sniggered at the thought of his whale of a cousin being beat up by a girl half his size.  
  
Mad-Eye's large magical eye scanned him over, trying to detect any reason to distrust them. As soon as the Megami realized what he was doing she screamed in protest and hid behind Lupin, who looked confused at her actions.  
  
"NANI O SHIMASU KA!? HENTAI!!! [1] You don't need to strip scan our clothes for weapons! What is this, an airport!?" Megami glared from over Lupin's shoulder. Konton and Yami Me laughed.  
  
Dedalus Diggle asked, "What'd she say before that?"  
  
Konton managed to stop laughing to respond. "She said, 'What are you doing!? Pervert!' Kami-sama, that was rich..."  
  
Moody scratched his chin. "It's a necessary precaution, lass. But I don't see any disguises or concealed weapons him... he passes my first screen test." Megami quickly removed the hidden emergency dagger from her sleeve (from their LOTR adventure) and slipped it into Konton's magical backpack unnoticed. [2]  
  
Yami Me snorted. "Of course not... if we had weapon, do you think we'd really hide them under our clothes when we know about your magical eye and everything else about this world?" Megami suddenly had taken an interest in her boots, as she was looking towards the ground.  
  
Mad-Eye Moody growled. "You can never be too careful! CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" His roar made everyone jump slightly, except Yami Me. She countered his calculating gaze with an icy glare that would someday rival Snape's.  
  
Konton interrupted the staring contest. "If you really want to know why we're staying here, it's because we have our own assignment from Professor Dumbledore."  
  
Kingsley Shacklebolt snapped to attention. "Really? And what would that be?"  
  
The three teens glanced at each other, subliminally debating if they should tell. Megami smiled and Yami Me gave a curt nod. Konton decided to divulge the mission onto their eager ears.  
  
"Okay. You wanna know? Dumbledore's setting us up as 5th year Japanese transfer students at Hogwarts this term. We're going to be the Order's agents at school. Megami and I are going to try to be sorted into Gryffindor, so we can keep a close eye on Harry. Yami Me will be a likely candidate for Slytherin, so she can be our eyes and ears in there to get info on He-Whose-Name-Must-Be-Hyphenated and his Death Munchers." There was collective laughter at these nicknames. "Since we come from a world where everyone has read about you, we'll have a better idea on what to do than another witch or wizard. We'll be something like Junior Order members.... except we're not...." ended Konton.  
  
Yami Me rolled her eyes at his remark. "Just think of us as volunteers able to give out information that we, ahem, 'pick up' around Hogwarts."  
  
"It's what I have dubbed as 'Mission P.R.O.B.A.B.L.E.' It's an acronym for Potter Reconnaissance Oath By Authors, Being Liable Experts." "  
  
Ron looked flabbergasted. "Excuse me, the what!? What does all that mean!?"  
  
"Honestly Ron! It means they, the authors, promise to watch over Harry!" explained Hermione.  
  
Megami grinned with feigned innocence. "Ain't it cool!? Besides, who's gonna suspect three students of potential Ministry sabotage?"  
  
Harry thought this over. "That's bloody brilliant!" He caught the looks of the other adults. "Sorry! But it is."  
  
Mad-Eye contradicted Harry's comment. "He's trusting three children we don't even know---"  
  
"Excuse me! You do know us! Konton, Megami, and Yami Me!? Ring a bell? Besides, we promised to Dumbledore! We're not going to be breaking any oaths to him unless we have a death wish, ya know!" retorted Konton.  
  
Tonks spoke up. "They're only kids, Mad-Eye, they're too young to be Death Eaters!"  
  
All the students stood up for the Authors.  
  
"They can't be evil because they saved Harry! They were able to fight off the dementors, weren't they?" reasoned Ron.  
  
"They haven't left the house since they got here so they haven't told any dark wizards about headquarters!" Hermione persisted.  
  
"Come ON! She beat up Dudley because he deserved it! That should count for something!" chorused the twins.  
  
Moody had a headache already. "Fine! They can stay! But I'll be keeping an eye on you three...." with that he clunked his way into a seat.  
  
"Oh, I'm shaking in fear," replied Yami Me sardonically. Moody growled in response.  
  
Megami's stomach unwittingly interrupted an uprising argument by growling for itself. "Hehehe... sorry. Last thing I ate was a fruit parfait for breakfast."  
  
Mrs. Weasley smiled. "Oh don't worry, dear! I'll start making dinner right away!" She busied herself in the kitchen while the others were shooed outside into the main room. Tonks had decided to help Molly Weasley in the kitchen.  
  
"Great! I'm starved," added Ron.  
  
In the meanwhile Harry was in deep discussion with Sirius and Remus, Ron and Hermione were talking, and the twins were secretly scheming with Mundungus Fletcher in a corner. Mr. Weasley went to retrieve the disgruntled Ginny. Apparently the other Aurors were discussing information about Voldemort's whereabouts and schemes. The three teens secluded themselves to a different section of the room.  
  
Megami looked bored. "So now what do we do? Until dinner, I mean."  
  
Konton thought. "Well, we can always play Duel Monsters..."  
  
Megami groaned. "But I suck! And you'll have to play Yami Me, and she's better than both of us, as she's a Yami!"  
  
Konton's face fell for a moment. He whipped out his card deck anyways. "Well time to get down and dirty, anyways. You accept, Yami Me?"  
  
Yami Me smirked. "Of course. Are you ready to get your ass kicked?" She whipped out her dark-magic based deck.  
  
Megami rolled her eyes. She wasn't too big on the actually playing game, so she dug through Konton's magical backpack and pulled out an MP3 player. Konton and Yami Me were busy dueling it out over the playing mat. Megami quickly listened to see if this would be interesting before turning on the MP3 player.  
  
"I play this card in defense mode, as well as a magic card facedown; I dare you to attack me," stated Konton.  
  
Yami Me smirked. "I'll play Dark Elf in attack mode, and bring down your facedown monster." It turns out Konton had lain down a Zombie Dragon, but his face-down card was a trap card, Negate Attack, which saved his monster.  
  
Megami immediately grew bored and decided to sing along to her favorite Japanese tunes. Unfortunately she was in the mood to annoy everyone else so she fixed her voice to be high and shrilly, just to spite everyone. She was almost done listening to "Because of You," the only rock song sung by Ayumi Hamasaki.  
  
"---Aenai jikan ni omoi ga tsunotta  
  
todokanai koe ni kokoro ga itanda  
  
kimi o shiranakatta koro ni  
  
modorenaku natte iruuuuuu----  
  
Doushite tokidoki sunao ni ienai  
  
Doushite tokidoki yasashiku narenai  
  
Doushite tokidoki kizutsuke atteru  
  
Doushite tokidoki tashikame atteru  
  
Doushite tokidokiiiiiiiiiii--- konnani kurushiiiiii----!  
  
Doushite itsudemoooooo---- konnani itoshiiii---!!!!  
  
Kimi ja nakya dame de!!!!  
  
Kimi ja nakya dame de---" [3]  
  
Yami Me ceased her shrilly, accented singing with a couch pillow. "Megami, either stop purposely singing like a banshee, or shut up." Then she went back to drawing cards for her hand. "I play a monster in defense mode. Try and get me, Chaos."  
  
Megami inwardly smirked; her little annoying idea actually got to her own dark side. She was thinking of other ways to annoy everyone while listening to music at full blast. Megami looked around and saw the other Aurors had already left; an hour had passed, or was it the singing that drove them away? She was deaf to the world when she realized the twins were trying to say something to her. She removed her headphones. "What?"  
  
"Is that what music from Japan sounds like?" asked Fred. Megami nodded slowly as if answering a very slow child.  
  
"Wicked!" commented George. "Pity you were singing off key."  
  
Megami scowled. "I was doing that on purpose just to spite all of ya'll. I can sing better... unless you want an encore of the bansheeness....?" She grinned.  
  
Sirius looked at her in surprise. "That was your singing!? I thought my mother's portrait came undone again." Megami stuck her tongue out at him.  
  
The twins were about to open their mouths in response to her request when Konton interrupted. "Please God, no more, Megami---"  
  
Mrs. Weasley suddenly announced, "Dinner's ready! Fred, George, can you please set everything on the table?" Without a second warning, Fred and George apparated into the kitchen. Megami soon followed Harry, Sirius, and Mundungus to the table.  
  
Konton spoke up, without looking up from his hand, "Do you think we should sit at the table, and/or warn Megami about the twins' sudden fetish for magic?"  
  
Yami Me lay a card down. "Nah let her jog her own memory. I play Mystical Sand in attack mode and combine her with Invigoration and Rose Whip, which brings her attack points up to 3200. I'll attack your Flaming Swordsman, thus bringing down your life points to zero," she stated calmly.  
  
Konton cursed under his breath and started to clean up. "I guess we should wait for the all clear to sit at the table. In three... two... one..."  
  
"NO! FRED! GEORGE! JUST CARRY THEM!!!!" Mrs. Weasley screeched from the kitchen. Everyone at the table looked up towards the doorway.  
  
"INCOMING!!!" Megami warned while doing some weird Matrix-like flip from her seat. Had she waited a second longer, the contents of a pitcher of butterbeer would have been on her. Sirius, Harry, and Mundungus had all dived from the table. The knife was still vibrating threateningly where Sirius' hand had been a minute before. "Kiisama, almost forgot about Fred and George's negligence concerning the use of excessive magic." Harry and Sirius laughed.  
  
Fred and George looked hurt. "Hey, you make us sound so irresponsible..." Ron snorted in laughter.  
  
"Nice move, by the way, Megami. How'd you do that?" asked Hermione.  
  
Megami shrugged. "Training and practice, I guess. Being an army brat helps too. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt if your darker half wasn't a psychopathic belligerent combat specialist." Yami Me gave a mock bow to the others as she and Konton went to join the others for dinner.  
  
"Everything looks great, Molly," commented Lupin. Konton and Megami were practically drooling over themselves.  
  
Dinner conversation ranged from the Author's world to school life at Hogwarts. All the kids, save polite Hermione and Ginny, were stuffing their faces full of food. Suddenly, Mrs. Weasley changed the direction of the conversation.  
  
"Sirius, I think we should start cleaning the place up a bit, tomorrow. There's a terrible infestation of doxies behind the curtains and there's a nest of dead puffskeins under the couch. I also think there may be a couple boggarts around, as the desk drawer and trunk upstairs keep rattling."  
  
Sirius half-shrugged. "We'll get to work on it tomorrow. But knowing my mother, it may be worse than a boggart; we should have Mad-Eye look at it first."  
  
"I think there may also be a poltergeist disturbing the plumbing upstairs," she added.  
  
"I look forward to it," he replied with some sarcasm.  
  
Harry spoke up. "We'll all help, Mrs. Weasley; don't worry."  
  
The three Authors had one thought crossing all their minds: Great, clean up duty tomorrow.  
  
AN  
  
[1] Nani o shimasu ka!? Hentai! – What are you doing!? Pervert!  
  
[2] His backpack is pretty cool as it can contain an infinite quantity of junk, etc. and he used a charm that prevents X-Ray vision, like lead does.  
  
[3] Because of You by Ayumi Hamasaki ] There is no way you can even accuse us of owning Ayumi Hamasaki or her songs; even if Megami loves her songs.  
  
Translation: My love grew when we couldn't meet, My heart ached because my voice didn't reach you, I find I can't go back to the times, when I didn't know you. Why sometimes I can't say honestly? Why sometimes I can't be tender? Why sometimes do we hurt each other? Why sometimes we check each other? Why sometimes my heart aches so much! Why always my heart goes out to you!!!! I can't think of anyone but you, I can't think of anyone but you---  
  
It must seem pathetic to blackmail for reviews, but please review!!!  
  
Preview of next chapter: "The Horrors of Spring, um, Summer Cleaning"  
  
Yami Me was busy helping Ron, Harry, and the twins tackling the Doxy infestation behind the curtains. Konton was helping Ginny, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus in the task of throwing away all sorts of junk.  
  
In the meanwhile, Megami had wandered into an upstairs room while dusting everything. She was singing more Japanese songs to herself while working.  
  
"Sotto mezameru... hakanai omoi zutto, donna toki demo negau yo... anata ni todoku you ni to..." she sang while doing the Swiffer dance. She finished cleaning the bookshelf when she spotted a dusty trunk along the side of the wall. Megami paused in thought, but let curiosity take hold of her. She slowly opened it when something came bursting out.  
  
Megami backed off in surprise when she realized it must be one of the boggarts Mrs. Weasley suspected resided in the household. She closed her eyes in dread of discovering what her deepest fear was, until she realized she had to deal with it if she ever wanted to make it in Gryffindor. Breathing deeply, she slowly opened one eye and looked at her boggart's form in absolute horror. She opened her mouth into a terrifying scream while trying to defend herself with the feather duster.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
Upon hearing her screams, Yami Me and Konton (Konton in the lead) dashed ahead of everyone else to the rescue. When they burst in, they saw quite possibly the most disturbing sight ever....  
  
"What the hell...?"  
  
Konton: finishes reading Niiiiceee....  
  
Yami Me: Nice cliffhanger for blackmail, Hikari.  
  
Megami: I surprise even myself sometimes! ;;;  
  
Konton: Again, plz review!!! Or you won't find out what each of our boggarts [they're not exactly... normal fears...] are unless we get at least 20 reviews!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 


	7. The Horrors of Spring, um, Summer Cleani...

Harry Potter Meets the Insane Writers

Watcher of Darkness: ...What IS your worst fear, Megami!?

Megami: Not telling.... We should be asking Yami Me that question. What in the HELL should she be afraid of!?

Yami Me: How should I know...? As far as I'm concerned I don't fear anything!!!

Watcher of Darkness: ...Oh yeah!? We'll see.... we'll see....

Disclaimer: STILL don't own anything that J.K. Rowling does. Disclaimer lasts throughout whole fic.

Aliases---- again...

Watcher of Darkness Konton Mahotsu aka Chaos

Anime no Megami Megami Kagayaki, Hikari = Light (Yami Me's POV)

Yami Megami Yami Me Kagayaki, Yami (Megami's POV)

Ch. 7 The Horrors of Spring, um, Summer Cleaning

It was the dawn of a new day. The occupants of the darkened house were still sleeping soundly... for the most part...

Two figures were stealthily creeping through the hallway, diving past doorways like Mission Impossible agents. Both of them leaned against opposite sides of the doorframe, telepathically signaling each other. They silently opened the bedroom door and slipped inside.

The 'mysterious' duo silently crawled into perfect position when the brunette one started to giggle quietly. Harry started to stir slightly. Both girls froze in tension. But Harry only rolled over to his side and stayed asleep.

"Shut up, Megami, you'll wake them up..." Yami Me muttered, making Megami stifle her snickers. 'That's better,' she relayed through their mind links. 'I suppose you should wake Chaos while I tend to Harry and Ron?' Her mischievous smirk was hidden in the shadows. Megami nearly squealed in delight and crept closer to Konton's bedside.

Meanwhile, Yami Me calmly made her way between Harry and Ron. She looked down at their sleeping forms. 'Awwww, aren't they precious when they're sleeping...? Hehe, time for a wake up call, boys...' With a wave of her hand, she conjured two buckets of ice that hovered dangerously over the boys' faces.

Megami took out her Aqua amulet given to her from Chaos. 'How ironic that I'm using it against him,' she thought. 'Good thing Yami Me's not using the amulet he gave HER; we don't need to set the house on fire...' She glanced at Yami Me and nodded. She pointed her palm at Konton and summoned ice cold water that shot at him. At the same time, Yami Me flicked her finger and both buckets immediately emptied their contents into Harry and Ron's pajama shirts.

The boys immediately shot awake. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" they screamed while trying to empty their night shirts or wring their clothes.

Harry was glaring at Yami Me while taking off his shirt, letting the ice dump on the floor. Ron was cursing under his breath as he did the same. "That was bloody cold, Yami Me!"

"It's still dark outside, you two..." Harry muttered while suppressing a shiver.

Konton was ticked off. "This had better be a reasonable time to wake us up, Megami---" He was dripping onto the bedroom floor. The clock on the bedroom wall said 5:35. "You are so dead...." he stalked his was over to her when their door burst open.

Apparently, the boys' cries had alerted the other house members. Bill and Charlie shook their heads at their antics. Fred and George sniggered at the others' misfortune. Hermione and Ginny blushed at seeing Harry and Ron without their shirts on. And the adults looked annoyed.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "Do you kids have any idea what time it is?" he demanded. "We thought Death Eaters were kidnapping you or something."

Lupin rubbed his eyes. "What were you doing anyways? And what are the guys doing wet?" he asked tiredly.

"We were having a wet T-shirt contest," Megami answered innocently.

The boys glared at her. Harry was still wringing his shirt. "Well, if everyone would kindly get out, we're gonna change into some dryer clothes."

Megami and Yami Me gave a mock-salute and exited between the other exasperated adults.

Mrs. Weasley flicked her wand, and the boys' bed sheets were now dry.

"Thanks mum," said Ron.

The adults started to leave, muttering about lack of sleep.

Hermione and Ginny were still gaping at the soaked boys. Harry, Ron, and Konton smirked at each other.

"Like what you see, ladies?" Konton teased. Ginny and Hermione blushed furiously. In an instant, a combat boot flew at his face. "HEY! What was that for?"

Megami and Yami Me had come back. Megami was tapping her (bootless) foot. "That was for being a baka no hentai [1], Chaos."

Yami Me rolled her eyes. "Come on girls. There's nothing worth seeing here..."

"HEY!" the boys said indignantly.

"Gimme my boot back, Konton!" She had to duck after he threw it back at her. "Oohhh... I swear, if you scuffed it, I will make you polish it with your tongue..." she muttered while exiting again. The other females exited as well.

Harry flopped back on his bed and sighed. "Hey, do they always change into their day clothes so early?"

Konton thought about it. "I dunno, maybe it's a girl thing."

Ron yawned again. "I'm going back to sleep you two. We'll need it; since we have to help clean the house today..."

All the boys groaned.

At around 7:45....

Everyone had already eaten breakfast and was getting ready to clean up the house. Mrs. Weasley asked the children what they would like to do first.

Megami went into military mode, being an army brat and all. "I say we divide and conquer, troops! TEN-HUT!!!"

The kids immediately snapped in attention. The adults merely raised an eyebrow. Megami started to pace her way down the line.

"We WILL tackle what this house has to offer; we'll form 5 parties along with 5 assignments. Here are your orders: Mrs. Weasley---" She raised an eyebrow in response. "You have clean up duty in the kitchen and the female bedrooms. Mr. Weasley, Fred, and George, you have living room tasks. Be careful; there's a nest of dead puffskeins under the couch. I will not have any of my soldiers lost to enemy forces! Remember: we ARE in a WAR here... even if the enemy is a house..."

Yami Me rolled her eyes. 'Who made her the boss of everything...?'

She continued on. "Hermione, Ginny, and Yami Me have floor scrubbing duty." The girls nodded. "Harry, Ron, Konton will disinfect the bathroom." The boys groaned in disgust. "Sirius and Remus can start to sort out all the junk. And I will sweep the floor with..." She started digging through Konton's magical backpack in the other side of the room.

"Can I help you with something?" Konton inquired impatiently.

Megami gave a cry of delight and extracted a Swiffer sweeper. "With this!"

Mr. Weasley looked excited. "Is that what Muggles use to clean floors!? How amazing! What's it called? How does it work?"

Megami grinned. "It's called a Swiffer sweeper, and you just... run it across the floor..." She cleared her throat. "Anyways, all parties are to rendezvous here after their primary tasks are completed. Your next assignment will be given at that time. DISMISSED!"

The teens gave a mock-salute and scattered to do their jobs. The adult shook their heads at their antics and went to work as well.

Megami took off her boots and kept her socks to make her job easier. "When there's a floor you can't ignore: You need Swiffer! Picking dirt and dust galore: YOU NEED SWIFFER!" she sang while skating across the floor. "WEEEEEEEE!!!!" she squealed as she started dusting the floor.

Meanwhile

Yami Me had summoned some buckets of soapy water and scrubbers. She used her fire amulet (from Konton) to heat up the water for sterilizing purposes. She then quickly put her hair up into a messy bun. "Let's get to work," she said, while rolling up her sleeves.

Ginny sighed. "I still say it would be easier to clean magically."

Hermione answered, "Sometimes Muggle clean-up is more effective in disinfecting and cleaning... and cleaning by hand gives you this feeling of satisfaction and relaxation!"

Ginny shrugged in defeat and dipped her hand in a bucket to get a scrubber. "At least the water's warm... and we have each other to talk to while working!" The girls smiled.

Yami Me was busy using her Pyro amulet to heat-dry up the clean areas. "So Hermione... do you fancy a certain red head who goes by the name of Ron?" She was answered by a splash of soapy water. "HEY! I tied my hair for a reason! So my hair wouldn't get wet! ...I'll take that as a yes..." she smirked. Ginny giggled and Hermione rolled her eyes. They continued to scrub the floors of all the main rooms of the house until they reached the dining room, with Sirius and Remus.

Sirius looked up from sorting out all the junk. "Are you girls almost done already?"

Hermione wiped her forehead with her sleeve. "We just have to finish scrubbing this room, and then we will be."

Just then, a sleazy figure crept slowly across the floor. The girls stopped scrubbing to stare at him.

Hermione sighed. "It's only Kreacher, you two..."

Ginny scoffed. "Yeah, ONLY Kreacher...."

Kreacher started muttering incoherently under his breath. "Why my mistress would be so ashamed to have so many blood-traitors and mudbloods destroying her house with mudblood means..."

Ginny growled. "Don't call them mudbloods!"

Hermione tried to mollify her. "Ginny, he doesn't know what he's saying! You can't blame him..."

Sirius glared at Kreacher with antipathy. "Don't even try, Hermione, he knows perfectly well what he's saying..."

Kreacher turned towards them and glared. "Why these vermin aren't worthy enough to clean the scum off mistress' shoes..." he mumbled.

Sirius made a gesture to throw Kreacher out when a sinister witch cackle rang through the hallway.

Kreacher whipped around. "And what was that, my Precious?" [An- hehehe, couldn't help it...] "What my Mistress would say if she knew such evil was in her house..."

Yami Me rolled her eyes. "Yea, and if you don't get out of our way, I'll give you to that 'evil' that just ran through the hallway," she threatened.

Kreacher gave a hateful glare at them and stalked out of the room.

Hermione gazed reproachfully at Yami Me. "Now was that really necessary, Yami Me?"

"Yes..." said Ginny. "He gives me the creeps!"

Yami Me nodded and replied, "Come on, it was only Megami who came by; she likes to cackle when she's hyper. What harm could she do to that thing?"

Just then, Megami skated by while dusting again. "HI GUYS!!!" she greeted and she was gone.

Remus shook his head in amusement. "Okay you girls, the sooner we finish, the sooner the everyone can go start shopping for school supplies." The girls grinned at the thought of the prospect of shopping and went back to work.

Just then their work was interrupted again by a shout.

At the same time

"Oh god... Tell me I'm not seeing what I'm seeing..."

Harry, Ron, and Konton were gaping in shock at their assignment. The bathroom was FILTHY! The bathtub had all sorts of scum (and it wasn't soap) in it, the sink was clogged, the floor was brown with age, and there was the toilet....

Harry peered a little into it. "Uh, guys? I think something's breeding down there...." he grimaced.

Ron made a face. "Knowing Fred and George, it's probably something they smuggled in to use for their Weasley Wizard Wheezes."

Konton whipped out the plunger. "So... who's going to do the honors?" He looked at Harry and Ron followed his gaze.

Harry sighed as he took it from Konton. "Why do I get the messy job...?" He used his foot to lift the seat. He made a face of disgust. "Even Voldemort isn't this ugly... Someone bring the toilet bowl cleaner?"

Konton dug through his magical backpack. He took out a Lysol Ready Brush complete with its foam spray. "Here you go; I think you just push that button to make the cleaning stuff come out, let it sit, then scrub." He also took out 3 gas masks and 3 pairs of rubber gloves and handed them to each of them. "This will help, I don't know how much longer I can stand the smell here..." Harry and Ron nodded and equipped their masks as well; it was more like Harry did and tried to help Ron put his on.

"Thanks," replied Harry. "You two better get started on the floor," he said in a voice that would make Darth Vader proud.

Konton then brought a bucket of hot, sudsy water with a couple of scrubbing brushes. Ron and Konton carefully squatted while cleaning the tiled floor.

"UGH! This is disgusting!" said Ron. The area he had been scrubbing furiously at had started to turn whiter, while the soap suds on the floor turned browner.

Konton gagged. "Tell me about it. Are the Dursley's bathroom as bad as this?" He moved to kneel in the clean spot he just finished.

Harry applied a large quantity of Lysol foam to the toilet. "Never like this; thank god this stuff disinfects as well as cleans..." He set the brush down and picked up the plunger.

"Here goes nothing," he stated while proceeding to unclog the toilet. "Come on..." he urged as he tried to force down the sludge to be flushed properly.

Suddenly, all the dirty water and dirty foam started to drain down the toilet. "YES!" Harry cheered in victory; he then started to use the brush to re-foam and scrub the sides of the bowl. Just as most of the stains were coming off, the water rippled ominously...

All of a sudden, a ghoul popped out of the toilet [AN- that sounded wrong] and made a grab for Harry. Harry shouted while Konton and Ron sprang up to pull Harry back from the ghoul's grasp.

"SIRIUS!!! REMUS!!!!!" they screamed through their masks.

[Downstairs]

"SIRIUS!!! REMUS!!!!"

"That came from the bathroom..." Lupin said to Sirius in fear.

Sirius turned towards Hermione, Ginny, and Yami Me. "Stay here, girls---"

The two Marauders dropped what they were doing and raced to the bathroom. When they burst in, they saw a malevolent ghoul trying to drag Harry and drown him, and the valiant Ron and Konton trying to pull him back.

"IMPEDIMENTA!" Sirius shouted, causing the ghoul to release Harry, who fell back on top of Ron and Konton. The ghoul shrieked in anguish as Lupin hit it with some curse. It disappeared with a pop.

Sirius and Remus turned towards the boys, who were breathing heavily through their gas masks. "Are you boys okay?" asked Lupin.

"Yeah," replied Harry shakily.

Sirius sniggered. "What are you three WEARING?" he said, staring at their bug-like masks and bright yellow gloves. They looked like detoxification specialists.

"Muggle gas masks, Sirius; don't tell me YOU enjoy the smell?" inquired Konton.

Sirius frowned. "Of course not."

Lupin looked at them. "Are you sure you can finish this without us?" The boys nodded. "Fine then. Meet downstairs when you're done, okay?"

Sirius and Lupin left, leaving the door open behind them in case of an emergency.

Ron gulped and looked at the now exorcised toilet. "I am never going to look at a toilet the same ever again..."

Konton nodded. "I am sorely tempted to vow never to use one again... but that would be wrong..."

At around 1 pm

Everyone had completed their primary tasks. After an early lunch, the groups were rearranged and reassigned.

Yami Me was busy helping Ron, Harry, and the twins tackling the Doxy infestation behind the curtains. It was more like helping the twins collect Doxies for their Skiving Snackboxes. Also, Konton was helping Ginny, Hermione, Sirius, and Remus in the task of throwing away all sorts of junk.

In the meanwhile, Megami had wandered into an upstairs room while dusting everything. She was singing more Japanese songs to herself while working.

"Sotto mezameru... hakanai omoi zutto, donna toki demo negau yo... anata ni todoku you ni to..." [2] she sang while doing the Swiffer dance. She finished cleaning the bookshelf when she spotted a dusty trunk along the side of the wall. Megami paused in thought, but let curiosity take hold of her. She slowly opened it when something came bursting out.

Megami backed off in surprise when she realized it must be one of the boggarts Mrs. Weasley suspected resided in the household. She closed her eyes in dread of discovering what her deepest fear was, until she realized she had to deal with it if she ever wanted to make it in Gryffindor. Breathing deeply, she slowly opened one eye and looked at her boggart's form in absolute horror. She opened her mouth into a terrifying scream while trying to defend herself with the feather duster.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Upon hearing her screams, Yami Me and Konton (Konton in the lead) dashed ahead of everyone else to the rescue. When they burst in, they saw quite possibly the most disturbing sight ever....

"What the hell...?"

In front of their very eyes, it was a little boy dressed in a Spongebob Squarepants costume wearing a sign with 'I am Megami's brother!' in big bold letters. It was doing a VERY disturbing victory dance while singing in a nasally voice, "I'M READY! I'M READY! I'M READY! "

Megami cowered against the wall, leading to her Boggart-brother to laugh Spongebob's annoying laugh.

"UAHAHAHAHaHahahahaha---" Megami twitched in repulsion and remembered she LOATHED Spongebob with a passion; unfortunately her brother recently has become obsessed with it and threatens to humiliate her in public. 'Oh, the mortification...'

[AN- Of course we are aware that there are plenty of Spongebob fans out there. This is merely for humorous purposes in the story. Besides, Megami really does dislike Spongebob]

Megami's boggart-brother started singing annoyingly, "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!"

Konton stepped up. "HEY! Leave her alone! You... Spawn of Satan..."

Yami Me looked at him. "If you're calling HIM a Spawn of Satan, you're also saying that Megami is..." She raised an eyebrow.

He ignored her, while the Boggart turned towards him.

CRACK

It now morphed into the form of.... SAILOR MOON!

[AN- Haha, no offense to anyone who watches that; to each his/her own fear ]

Konton dropped his staff in horror. It clattered on the floor. "NOT HER!!!" In a split second, he had fallen to the ground on his bum. He just barely dodged her Moon Tiara attack, which she caught on the rebound. Regrettably, his shoulder was grazed.

The fake Sailor Moon did her little pose. "In the name of the moon, I will punish you!" she cried in a ditzy voice. She sprang towards him, but suddenly stopped midway. She immediately transformed again. Konton was still shielding himself from fear.

CRACK

In the Sailor Scout's place, stood an old hag, wearing black and red. Yami Me gasped in recognition. This was supposed to be Yami Chaos! [3] Supposedly, she WOULD look pretty, except she was wrinkled and disfigured. 'I guess it sensed Yami Chaos' fear from within Konton; hey.... she's afraid of being ugly? ...How vain... and she's supposed to be as, if not "more" fearsome than I... [4]' she thought. "Right, no one's as fearsome as me," she assured herself.

"Time to end this... HEY! Leave them alone!" she commanded while she stepped closer. The boggart drew its attention from Konton and his Yami, and turned towards her. Konton started to collect himself slowly.

CRACK

Yami Me face faulted. The boggart was... Yami Bakura!? But something was different about him...

Boggart-Bakura smirked a menacing sneer and waved his hand at Yami Me. "WHAT THE---" Yami Me exclaimed as she was magically thrown across the room. She hit the floor and rolled into a painful landing. She tried to pick herself up. "He doesn't have the power to do that..." she groaned.

The Boggart-Bakura cackled as he stepped closer to her, brandishing his knife. "Yami Me, how could you possibly think you were the most powerful of all?!" The boggart changed shape again...

CRACK

Yami Me couldn't believe her eyes. "There is no way in hell that I am afraid of Bakura AND Marik!!! They are pathetic Yami's compared to me!"

She back-flipped herself up again and went into her combat stance.

Boggart-Marik laughed more manically than possible. "You have no power over us, DEMONESS--- no power at all...." He stalked his way over to Yami Me, who withdrew the Millennium Glaive. Boggart-Marik just sneered and summoned the Glaive into his own hand.

Yami Me couldn't believe the predicament she was in. "That's not possible," she murmured. "It only answers to ME or Megami!" She conjured a demonic fireball of immense power. "Yea, well? EAT THIS!" She hurled it at the boggart.

But Boggart-Marik took the full blast of it and stayed standing. "Ouch. Was that all you've got?" He transformed his Millennium Rod into its dagger form. The Sennen Eye glowed on his forehead. "Now you know what it is like to be the weaker Yami..." A psychotic gleam flashed across his eyes as he used Shadow Magic to conjure chains of dark energy. Yami Me flipped out of the way but the chains grabbed hold of her nonetheless.

She was instantly frozen in place, with all her powers negated. All she could do was slump to floor helplessly while the chains covered her mouth as well. 'I can't... move!' Yami Me thought in frustration. 'Curses! Why don't my powers override or affect him!?'

"Like shooting fish in a barrel..." Boggart-Marik muttered while running his tongue across the blade. Yami Me was struggling helplessly while throwing all sorts of mental curses at Boggart-Marik.

The boggart was about to stab her when there was a rampage of feet at the door.

"EXPELLIARMUS!!!" Remus' voice cried out. Boggart-Marik's Rod (the Millennium One... --;;;) was thrown across the room, barely missing Megami's head, who was still shaking in the corner.

"THANKS..." Megami retorted sarcastically in a random moment of sanity. Then she went back to twitching and muttering about sponges that wear underwear.

The others had arrived. Sirius held the others back to give Remus some space. Lupin glanced from between the Yami's, the fallen Konton, and the twitching Megami. Understanding flitted across his face as he whipped out his wand and bellowed, "RIDDIKULUS!"

The fake Marik, which had turned into a moon, became a shiny, bald Snape's head. Sirius laughed so hard, the boggart exploded into oblivion.

Remus pocketed his wand and rushed over to Yami Me. "Are you all right? Who WAS that?"

Yami Me did not look at him. 'I can't believe I am so afraid of losing my powers... to the point where even my weakest enemies could get me...' she thought. [5] She opened her mouth to answer Lupin. "Feh, of course I am... do you think that NOBODY could get to me so easily?" Remus rolled his eyes at her arrogance.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Weasley went over to Konton. She immediately magically wrapped his scrape in bandages.

Sirius went over to Megami, who was still sitting against the wall. "Ugh, I HATE that show... God knows my brother makes it worse..." she muttered, while running her fingers through her hair.

"You alright?" Sirius asked concernedly. Megami looked up at him.

She heaved a heavy sigh. "Yeah...." she replied, bouncing back up. "I seriously think we should get our wands soon, in case something like this happens again... we can't even fend off a boggart properly without a wand." She kicked her boots on the floor in agitation.

Sirius chuckled. "I think Dumbledore will take care of that later today, before you guys go shopping---" He was interrupted by a knocking at the front door downstairs.

"I believe that's him now," Mr. Weasley commented.

Everyone, whose shock had worn off, rushed downstairs to greet him. When they settled in the cleaner living room, Dumbledore approached the Authors.

"I believe I may have found a solution to your predicament. You do have the choice to stay or the opportunity to go home immediately."

The Authors' jaws dropped in disbelief. "What!? How?" Konton asked.

Dumbledore waved his wand and conjured two bottles of potion: one red, one blue. "Now, there are 3 servings in each bottle. Professor Snape," ignoring the faces made by Sirius and the other kids, "brewed these with the possibility of you returning to wherever you belong. The blue will, presumably, let you leave this reality. The red one..."

Everyone waited for an answer. "...Will allow you to use magic undetected from the Ministry of Magic."

Ron pouted. "How come you can't give those to US, then? Or at least to Harry, he could have used it, seeing as he's being tried in a couple days!" Harry was thinking this himself, but he did not have the heart to confront Dumbledore for some reason...

Dumbledore continued. "However, it binds you to this world until whatever supernatural reason you are here has been fulfilled."

Megami looked at her fellow Authors. "This sounds suspiciously like the Matrix... which 'pill' should we take then, guys?" she chuckled.

Konton thought out loud. "I dunno.... I mean, just by being here, we could change the fabric of time and history... wouldn't it be best to leave before we cause damage? But then again... we were sent here for some reason... it'd be wrong to waste the opportunity, right?"

Yami Me sighed exasperatedly. "Let's just flip for it or something! Personally, I'd like to stay here and kick some Dark wizard arse!" The adults looked reproachfully at her for her language.

Dumbledore looked solemn. "It is completely your decision."

Hearing that, Konton and Megami looked over to Harry and the others.

Ginny was looking pitiful. "Please stay," she mumbled. "We'd all have so much fun at Hogwarts!"

Harry nodded in agreement.

"Your knowledge could come in very handy," reasoned Hermione.

Konton looked unsure for a few moments. He sighed. "Well, I'm afraid this will be for the greater good..." He walked over to the table with the potions on top. He reached out his hand for....

AN and Slight Spoilers

[1] Baka no hentai = stupid pervert

[2] "Quietly awakening... I always, always wish... that these fleeting thoughts... would reach you..." -From the beginning of "My Will" by dream, the 1st ending theme song of Inuyasha. WE DO NOT OWN THIS... of course.

[3] So we finally meet Yami Chaos! ::witch cackle:: Yes, in case you didn't realize, Konton's dark side IS a female... we MIGHT find out more about her in the later future.

[4] And you all thought Yami Me is the biggest bad$$ there is... She has a partner in crime--- hehehe

[5] Yami Me's fear of losing her power becomes very significant in the distant future at Hogwarts (if they go...). Now she'll do anything to make sure this never happens....

Yami Me: WHAT!? We don't get to find out what YOU choose!?

Watcher of Darkness: We will in the NEXT chapter, Yami Me.... rolls eyes

Megami: ::twitch:: Spongebob....

Yami Me: Megami... why did you write that my fear is losing my powers!? (Unsure voice) That is SO not true... OO

Watcher of Darkness: Right.... anyways... PLEASE REVIEW! We'd like at least 30 reviews.... onegai?

/ PRESS IT.... OO Or else you will see a naked Snape doing ballet with marshmallow peeps in your dreams....


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